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A Lesson In Repression

by Black International

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1.
Let me in from the dark I’m not frightened I’m just sick & tired of playing this part And if you offer yourself I’ll take my chance and Beat these words into shining swords But they’re still blunt in my hands This is why I can’t lie Though you would never guess I’d grind your thoughts in my mouth And spit them out again With shards of tooth And makeshift sympathy Threads of infinite life Wrapped around an effigy That’s infamous in my eyes And I still shiver inside Blinking in the brake-lights I thought you’d never guess That with my flashing canines I’d take you down a peg And eat your heart With tasteful empathy We wake up with The stink of love Clinging to us But when you fly Into the distance I struggle to see you
2.
This isn’t happening Sleep now, rest your weary head You should’ve listened But take heart Hurt / action / disarray Obscene delights and denials Milking the same vein Twisting like a snake You get what you pay for Around your mind A fence to keep people out Your fragile insect wings Delicate as a flower Iridescent against The dissipating clouds Keep your eyes closed tight “A lesson in repression”? Fine, call it what you like You seem alive I can’t deny your pulse is Right off the chart A pin-prick on a membrane I could be wrong As I’m so often informed Whispered in tongues Scratched out in signs And vague codes
3.
I help myself to her gifts Dished up with every shake of her hips They bring me out from under my stone Like an animal without a backbone In the light of the moon She’ll remake my face Glass eyes, cat’s eyes tied in place Frayed lips part from A fracture-like grin Felt-tip lines on tightened skin An under-bite, a jaw wired shut Words tangled up Vulpine vowels, an inarticulate howl The things I’ve seen In those magazines… Last night the stars were wreathed in black I stared into the void And the void stared back I’ll wait here for what I like I’ll wait here for what I lack
4.
Panopticon 01:26
5.
You and I are drifting on the breeze Like paper bags, blown litter A constellation in the leaves That’s kicked apart, then back together Our see-through plastic hearts Bird feather brains and wooden arms Make contact But given time we’ll satisfy Our appetites for stuff We were warned about Blink your blue placid eyes And we’ll stumble onwards Always Your past is my future So take your medicine again Then hide it away My past is your future I’ll take my medicine again And hide it away
6.
Inner Temple 01:16
7.
Silence 05:24
Yeah, I'm full up with love Would you believe me if I Drew the sadness out from you? I guess you're naive enough But I said "silence" I said Your Royal Highness Some loyal subject I'd make Take your head, shove it on a stake And we'd warm our own With the heat from your bones I'd suffer silence Perpetual silence Fantastic silence I said Before the breath's sucked from my lungs And I'm ripped into a million pieces; One final sweet intake of air And a prayer to whatever might hear it Hide yourself deeper inside Hide your self deeper in side A VICTIM EVICT HIM A VICTIM
8.
Dewdrops 03:02
Morning Dewdrops Condensation A town half asleep To hear you howling Like a bitch in season This dog’s in heat I will hurt you I see you coming Into my shit scheme Eyes to the ground It takes a wasted education To know what I’ve found I will hurt you
9.
I’m stitched up In the lion’s den Bad stuff floats to the top Just ‘cos I get so sentimental You know I should’ve let it go Are you taking the lot? Was it something I said? Oh, how typical I’ve been lying to myself For so long Let it come down I’ll suck it up and suffer Sleepless nights from time to time Squirming lusts burn like ice Wet sheets, bleached; electrolytes I claim the prize For ‘The Man Least Likely To’ You know me I can make what you need Come alive And take you over
10.
In The Sun 03:27
In the sun, paint peeling on my windowpane and I can contemplate the buzzing in the lines between us A fiction, a windblown city and the ghosts Of countless actions I wouldn't ever recognise Now I put my faith in higher numbers I dream in crystal spires Dead seas and ritual bonfires In elegant chains of thought If I cared about what I’ve got I’d try to make things better for us But I settled for her From death back to birth I settled for her If I could taste, just once A little passion I would happily meet my maker The quinine trickles down And this could be the fever talking now But I put my faith in higher numbers I tried to make out Things were safe
11.
12.
If I pushed up to trample you down Milked you, fleeced you Ensconced in antique furniture Would you lie back And dream of an England Untouched by filthy foreigners? I’ll give you the freedom To distort the world I’ll give you the freedom I’ll give you a reason To contort reality I’ll give you a reason To create your personal hell They’d fight you for a scrap of meat Son, it’s educational And it tastes so sweet To take what’s rightfully your own The method of the primitive In a four bedroom home Well maybe you’ve heard, right? I’m vermin of the worst kind SUCH AS SUCH AS The rat in your kitchen The rat that shits in your cornflakes And in the Daily Mail; ALL HAIL I feel like I’ve been here before Bare-chested, dressed up like a ‘70s wrestler
13.
Once I had a lively soul I grabbed his tail then let him go The skeleton of a murdered idea People are the fucking worst I’ll take you down with me Into the sea Into the shallow sea

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credits

released October 30, 2015

Written and Performed by Black International. Engineered by Andrew Bush at Chateau P and Niall Sinclair at Chamber Studio, Edinburgh. Mixed by Andrew Bush. Additional recording by Stewart Allan. Mastered by Alan Douches at West West Side Music, New York.

Good Grief Records, 2015.

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Black International City of Edinburgh

new wave punk rock noise pop

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